I have grown and changed so much. I am sharp and clever, much more quick to be cruel than I used to be. I haven't finished a book in six months and that has left a gaping hole in my chest that this summer is going to repair. I'm more vapid than I used to be. More vain. Chubbier too. Thanks to a broken hand during a spring break hiking disaster, my right pinky will forever be a little bit shorter. But I've changed in good ways. I'm independent. I'm driven. I have a group of friends that have quickly become a second family. I'm slowly making my new life mine and not just a series of events that keep happening to me.
School was hard on me this semester, and I'm oddly grateful. I had to fight hard for my good grades, and in my math class I totally worked my ass off and I didn't even get a good grade. For so much of my life I've been so competitive about my grades. I wanted to get the best score on the test so I could brag about it. I wanted to pass APUSH with flying colors because everyone acted like it was an impossible death sentence. My competitive edge has always been my motivator but in college that doesn't work. My professors don't know me. I didn't know any of my classmates. There was no competition, just me and the work I had to do. That was a huge reality check for me because for the first time in my life, I had to work for the good grade simply because I wanted it.
I've got one year down, and three more to go. I'm excited for the adventures this summer. Hopefully I'll be writing and posting more. I'm reading again, so I think my next post might just be a review. Some things will never change, and I;m thankful for that.
School was hard on me this semester, and I'm oddly grateful. I had to fight hard for my good grades, and in my math class I totally worked my ass off and I didn't even get a good grade. For so much of my life I've been so competitive about my grades. I wanted to get the best score on the test so I could brag about it. I wanted to pass APUSH with flying colors because everyone acted like it was an impossible death sentence. My competitive edge has always been my motivator but in college that doesn't work. My professors don't know me. I didn't know any of my classmates. There was no competition, just me and the work I had to do. That was a huge reality check for me because for the first time in my life, I had to work for the good grade simply because I wanted it.
I've got one year down, and three more to go. I'm excited for the adventures this summer. Hopefully I'll be writing and posting more. I'm reading again, so I think my next post might just be a review. Some things will never change, and I;m thankful for that.
