Once again, long time no blog. A lot has changed since my last post, and for once it's all good things.
BEWARE. Insanely self indulgent post ahead. Read at your own risk.
It's no secret that 2016 was a complete and total shit storm. There's really no other way to phrase it. On a massive scale, it was terrible. On a personal one, it was an emotional roller coaster.
I want to be candid, honest, and real here. I spent the first nine months of 2016 horrifically depressed. There were days last February where I couldn't leave my bed, even though I had class. I would go to work at night to a job where I was surrounded by people who had been mercilessly beaten by life. Drug addicts, ex-cons, recovering addicts, these were the people I spent my evenings with. I loved them all dearly, I really did. But being around that much hopelessness while I was already depressed wasn't exactly good for my mental health.
I spent the summer rootless, bouncing back and forth from St. George and Orem so often I never really knew where I was gonna be. I found myself incredibly isolated from all my friends and family, even though I was with them. Everything just felt wrong and awful all the time.
Around September, I hit rock bottom and found myself hysterically crying in the passenger seat of my friend's car. I was exhausted. I was overwhelmed with my own problems, and I was dealing with some things that were just too intense for me to handle. After that night, I realized that I shouldn't have to carry my load, and the loads of all those around me. I decided to make a change.
I shed the baggage. I cut ties with people who weighed me down. I spent more time with people who didn't ask me for favors or advice, they were just people who wanted to spend time with me. I reached out to a boy I had a crush on. I got a job where the people were fun, hopeful, and cool. I surrounded myself with positivity and my life changed. My grades improved, I lost 20 pounds, I fell in love!
I'm starting 2017 happier than I've ever been. I just wanted to share this rare occasion with you all. Cut out the bad stuff, round up the good, and even though I still have bad days, I have more hope than I thought possible.
