Why do you write like you need it to survive?

It's been a crazy six months of new and overwhelming but also really wonderful experiences. I'm just finishing up my first semester of college, which is insane to think about. My life was so different the last time I actually posted on this thing. I was reading every day and I was home and it seemed like I had everything I'd ever need. And then I moved up for school.

College has been a great challenge. It's been really fun for me to bend and change in an attempt to give my professors what they want. I've sort of found routine in the chaos. At home, I had a schedule. Here, I have to treat every day like an entirely new beast. It's been hard, but doable. My roommates and friends are absolutely amazing. I live with some of the loveliest, most intelligent girls in the world. We stay up into the wee hours of the morning talking about complete nonsense. Earlier this week we made a Christmas breakfast for all of our friends and did Secret Santa. Every gift was thoughtful and sweet and I've never been more proud to know all of these crazy people.

It's different than I thought it would be. I'm different than I thought I would be. When I pictured myself in college, I saw a lot of long nights alone in the library with my homework. Instead, I have a living room full of loud people all working on different assignments and projects. There's laughing and crying, and usually dissolves into silly dance moves or stupid human tricks by the end of the night. My roommate Emma can do the worm with such furious passion that it is honestly inspiring. My other roommate Eliza and I sing Hamilton lyrics at each other without missing a beat.Parker will be stressing over a paper, and Hannah will be in the corner, attempting to kick Math 1010 in the ass.Anna is usually asleep on the couch, or nonsense dancing with me.  I never pictured myself surrounded by a group of people that fit together and clash in such bizarre ways. In high school I wasn't very social, that was by choice. But here I'm all over the place, surrounded by people who I love in way I didn't think were possible.

In high school I grew into the person I always wanted to be. In college, I've quickly grown out of that person and I'm unrecognizable. I'm kind of lost, but that's okay. I'll figure out who I'm turning into eventually. For now, I'm just trying to accept all of this change and not let myself get overwhelmed or lost. Next semester will bring a whole new set of challenges and wonderful memories. Who knows what's coming next?

Emma at her finest.

Ps. I turned 19 last week,which was wild. It was celebrated with a dinner and a beautiful cake with Hailey Ann, a movie night with roommates and other friends, and a very late breakfast. Let's see what this new year of adulthood brings. Never in my life did I see myself as the person I've become over the last year. I'm pretty sure it's all good things, but you never really know. I ran a newspaper, read 36 books, moved away from home, got into the Honors program, and made a huge new group of friends.

So far, I've been trying to deal with a life that I never really pictured myself having, but couldn't really see it any other way now that I have it.